Making a NOT TO DO ListBy Eunice Beck, RN Today I finished getting my tax information ready for my accountant. I really need to be more organized about this. I need to learn to use the money management programs on my computer. But with brain fog, learning new things can be very difficult. All of us know it is necessary to be somewhat organized to get through life. The changes in our mental function make necessary special types of organization, things like always putting your car keys or glasses in the same place. To do lists are a necessary part of our life. Still, we can't let them govern us. Recently, I heard a "life coach" on one of the talk shows. Many of her suggestions made sense. She talked about how she had been able to organize her busy life. However, one of the ways she managed to cope intrigued me. She said she made herself a NOT TO DO list. Activities to Avoid I think all of these belong on the not to do list, but the feeling I got from the "life coach" went even further. She implied that the things on her list were things she previously felt she "should" do. I have made a "not to do" list for myself. Many of the things included are those which have already been mentioned, but there are others. For instance, I have never been very comfortable in pantyhose, so I rarely wear dresses. If I do, they are long so I don't have to wear hose. Expanding the List A very important thing on my "not to do" list concerns putting the needs of others before the things I need to preserve my best functional level. Of course, there are situations such as family illness, and small children where this may not be possible. However, we must learn to rank our health at or near the top of our list of priorities. Negative "self-talk" is another thing on my list. When I pay attention, I notice that the more tired and frustrated I become, the more negative names I am calling myself; such as stupid, dummy, klutz, etc. Putting myself in the situation where I have to hurry is another no-no for me. Hurrying, such as to get ready for an appointment, really adds to my fatigue level. I guess it must be the extra adrenaline that pumps into my system when I rush that makes me feel so exhausted and stressed. Even the chores around the house are done when I feel like doing them. I don't "freak out" if the laundry goes unfolded for several days. The floor gets vacuumed when it needs it. If all of the days dishes don't get washed until evening, I'm OK with that. I'm convinced that a layer of dust protects my furniture. My house is nowhere near filthy, but its not spotless either. It's lived in! I think some of my friends worry that I have become a homebody. I usually only go out when I need to, and really don't visit much with friends or family except via the computer. So many people don't, and don't want to understand how we are feeling. I get tired of always saying I'm fine, but I don't want to become a constant complainer either. If I were living alone, I would make more of an effort to be out with friends. But I am fortunate that my spouse is also my best friend. We enjoy doing the same things. We are both "night people", so our sleep time is the same. When I include our two wonderful feline companions, I have all the company I need. At home, I also have all those things I need to help provide my physical comfort. Do you have a NOT TO LIST? If not, perhaps you should start one. It is yet another step toward health, both mental and physical. Take care and be well. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Join The Next Introductory Class Register now for classes that begin on April 6, 2026. Registration closes on March 30, 2026. Cost: $20.00.
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