Planning for Depression
Many situations we face can be anticipated and the negative consequences reduced or eliminated if we give them some advance thought. In this and three companion articles, we look at different ways that planning can diminish suffering and increase quality of life if you have ME/CFS or FM.
Depression in ME/CFS & FM
There are two types of depression associated with ME/CFS and fibromyalgia. One type is called situational depression, which means depression that occurs as a response to a particular set of circumstances, in this case having your life turned upside down by long-term illness. Self-management strategies such as those described below are usually helpful in response to this type of depression.
Depression may be biochemical as well, created by changes in the functioning of the brain. Prolonged stress may alter our biochemistry, causing depression. Self-management strategies may also be useful for this type of depression, but treatment normally includes medication as well. Serious or long-term depression or thoughts of suicide call for immediate help from a doctor, therapist or suicide-prevention service.
Planning for Depression Everyone has times when they feel unhappy or sad. We can recognize that these feelings are likely to occur from time to time and plan how to respond, so we’ll know what do when a time of low spirits comes. Here are six strategies used by people in our program.
Two Special Anti-Depression Strategies One person in our program, recognizing that depression is likely to recur, has created two special anti-depression strategies that she uses when she's feeling blue. She calls the first “The Treasure Box of Pleasantries.” It’s a notebook containing compliments she has received, photos of places she has visited or would like to see, plus treasured notes, photos and cards. When her spirits are down, she picks them up by going through the box.
The second strategy, which she calls “The 100 Hours Program,” is a way to stay active and give herself a sense of purpose when her spirits are especially low. She scripts a period of up to 100 hours with "every special, pleasant and meaningful activity I can think of."
Depending on her functional level, she might schedule hair and massage appointments or lunch with friends. In addition, she has a list of 50 activities she can do on her own. They include catching up on unread magazines, watching uplifting or interesting movies, perusing picture books and preparing easy-to-fix meals.
Everything is worked into a schedule, which she keeps in a binder. She says that usually by the end of the time she is back to normal. The most important part is that "I don't have to think ‘what do I do now'. I've planned it all out beforehand."
Letter to Myself Another person in our program has responded to the likelihood that depression will recur and temporarily cloud her judgment by writing a “letter to myself,” which she can read when depression hits in response to a relapse. It begins: I am writing to you from a peaceful place of acceptance, but I remember very clearly what it was like to be gripped by fear and desolation. Now, on the back of the insights that lifted me up again, I want to reach out to you and help you to avoid spiraling even further downwards. I am writing this in the hope that I can inspire you to retain (or regain) a clear connection to the insights and tools which can help you to avoid being sucked down into the swamp again.
She goes on to challenge herself not to give in to self-pity and she reminds herself in detail of what has helped her through difficult periods in the past. (The letter is seven pages long.) She concludes:
I hope you will choose faith and hope and life. I hope you will choose to reach deep inside yourself to access all of those decades of growth and learning. I hope you remember that you are loved and appreciated and that your writing has affected hundreds or maybe thousands of people that you have never met. You have so much more to give. Reach into your heart and find a way to survive and thrive again. You can do it, no matter what. I believe in you and I am always here with you, even when you can't find me.
With love from the tranquil, serene, accepting, creative, meditating Mary.
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