The Anatomy of HopeIf you are like most people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) and fibromyalgia, you have probably felt discouraged or even despairing at times. Perhaps it happened when you learned that you had an illness with no cure. A book by Dr. Jerome Groopman of Harvard offers some answers (The Anatomy of Hope: How People Prevail in the Face of Illness). Based largely on his experience with cancer patients, the book describes different approaches to living with serious illness. Resignation Dr. Groopman was able to persuade Dan to undergo treatment. By uncovering Dan's mistaken belief about his situation, the doctor was able to convince him that his situation was different than his friend's. Like Dan, ME/CFS and fibromyalgia patients can fall into helplessness after years of suffering, but they can help themselves using some of the same strategies Dan employed. By taking a series of small, realistic steps, most patients can help themselves to feel better. In our self-help course, we teach how you can improve quality of life by making different choices than in the past. False Hope Groopman now believes that offering patients false hope was wrong and that doing so showed a lack of confidence that it is possible to have both hope and a realistic view of illness. The problem with false hope, he says, is that it does not acknowledge the risks and dangers facing a patient. False hope can be an issue for ME/CFS and fibromyalgia patients, too. I have often seen people spend great amounts of time and money in search of a miracle cure, something that will give them their old life back. While some people are able to recover, recovery is rare and, in people we know, the result of hard work over an extended period of time. Repeated failed attempts at recovery can produce the same sense of helplessness as resignation. Realistic Hope He illustrates this approach by describing a patient named Barbara, who had an aggressive form of breast cancer. Barbara acknowledged that the cancer was likely to kill her, but she also wanted to treat it aggressively. Groopman was impressed with Barbara's acceptance of her situation. He found she had a calmness that was rooted not in surrender but in a "steady realism." She "set the parameters on her care with a clear-eyed vision of what was possible, what made sense to her, how she wanted to live, when it was time to die." Even with the limits imposed by her illness, Barbara was able to live her life on her own terms. Barbara's approach is similar to what we call combining acceptance and hope. Patients with this attitude acknowledge that life has changed. Instead of living as if they were well or searching a miracle cure to restore them to health, they accept that their lives are different and, in some ways, more limited. At the same time, they have a fierce determination to improve and a conviction that they can find ways to make their lives better. Hope for ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia But for many with ME/CFS or fibro it is also realistic to think that they can find things to help them feel better. Medications and self-help strategies may not cure ME/CFS or fibromyalgia, but they can help reduce pain and discomfort, bring greater stability, and lessen psychological suffering. This approach requires that you assume responsibility for the day-to-day management of your illness. Living well with long-term illness means living differently from before. ME/CFS patient JoWynn Johns describes her journey to a new life by saying in an article on recovery, "If recovery means returning to the way of life I had before ME/CFS, I have not recovered. But in other and to me equally significant ways, I have recovered." Realistic hope can have physical effects as well as boosting your spirits. Groopman describes experimental evidence that hope can reduce symptoms. Hope appears to trigger the production of endorphins, the body's own pain killers. Students in our program echo JoWynn's sentiment, saying that they believe it is possible to create a joyful and rewarding life while living with long-term illness. While not the life they had before becoming ill, it is a good life. |
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